Members-Stories | Include.org

Meet Beth

Everyone is welcome

When I talk to people about Include, I always say how much it has made a huge, positive impact in my life and improved my quality of life, given me a purpose and that it is the BEST charity I have ever come across where EVERYONE is included, everyone is welcome.

I want the world to know that there is no place anywhere that makes you feel so included, safe, comfortable, happy and purposeful as Include does.

How it started

I first found out about Include by research. I moved back down to Surrey from Coventry, and wanted to find out if there were any Makaton groups nearby and that’s how I came across Include. I messaged Alix and it all went from there.

I wanted to get involved because I was very lonely and I enjoy Makaton so much, and use it a lot personally.

At first, I was very anxious, only because I always am when facing new places, people and situations BUT this didn’t last long! Soon I was comfortable and felt ‘included’ and part of an amazing community and surrounded by lovely, genuine people.

When I first went to Include, I started off just joining in the choir every Wednesday evening in Redhill.

Growing in confidence

It wasn’t long before I wanted to volunteer, make a difference and help others.

I also started to attend some of the Stroll and Sign walks on Saturdays, going to performances, and helping to design the new ‘Star of the month’ certificate and another certificate.

I am also now part of the Champions Group which I really enjoy and feel we all make a difference by working on and designing Easy Reads for people and giving examples and explaining things like ‘reasonable adjustments’ etc.

Since being part of Include, I have gained confidence, made friends and have something to really look forward to each week; helping others, having fun, being included and having a purpose.

Signs of Change

Although I already knew most Makaton signs before I came across include, I have gained more skills from The Include Choir and the Champions Group. These include improved speaking and listening skills, trusting people because I feel comfortable with the people I’m surrounded by and learnt a couple more skills on my computer.

The things I do with Include really help me day to day and help my support workers, family and others around me to understand and communicate with me, and others in a better or different ways.

When I struggle, I can become non-verbal, so for support workers and family to know basic Makaton signs is very important and helpful. I am now able to feel confident to teach them the important basic signs that are useful so that they can best support me.

I think it is important for people in all sorts of jobs to know basic Makaton e.g. hospital staff, doctors, teachers in schools, dentists and other professionals that might come across people who may use a different form of communication like Makaton.

We are all different…

My favourite quote is ‘we are all different, but all equal’ and I feel everyone at Include is treated equally no matter what their needs are and this makes me very proud to be a part of such an amazing group.

The next step in my Include story is to do volunteering more and make more of a difference, help people more, improve more skills and gain more confidence.

I have a goal and that is to do a solo Makaton song at Christmas, I hope I can get enough confidence in time.

Discovering Include is the BEST thing that’s happened and I am very grateful for all that everyone does to make it such a lovely, enjoyable group.

Penny Sims
Communications, Fundraising and Partnerships Lead

Not just a Choir

Include Choir member Joss shares his thoughts…

“I have been part of other choirs, and they tried and were nice – but it wasn’t like coming to Include. They weren’t doing anything particularly offensive, Include is just better!

Include people say “Hello” and treat me like my best friends treat me. We can be complete strangers – but when I’m around them, I feel I can walk.

I only get that feeling from my very, very, very close, and I mean very close friends.

Elsewhere, especially in the outside world, it’s not very like that. I just want to be with the Include guys every single day because they are accepting of me. Include are family to me.

Include is not just a choir – it’s not just saying right we are choir, join us, tick in the box and that’s it.

Include Choir and Alix decide day by day we’re actively going to include every single one of these people who are less included, and take the people who are totally on the margins of society and say look come and sing with us, you are not different in this room.

The D Word

I don’t look at myself as disabled.

Places like Include and people like Alix are just wonderful, they don’t see your disability. The Include Choir focus on the fact you can sing!

If you ask Alix about who Joss is she will say something like, “He is pretty good on a drum, he can talk the hind legs off a donkey, but I completely ignore the fact that he is disabled.”

I think about 90% of society you ask might say, “this kid is disabled” and only about 3% go “Actually he is a really nice guy,” and they don’t look at me as disabled.

Some people think that to understand me they have to put this costume or label on me, “This guy is disabled.” And it’s not until you throw it off yourself – you throw it off your body and you say look I am able – they have a moment when they just stop and they go, “Ah – he is a nice guy!” And that moment of realisation is the most beautiful thing, and I can see it happen all the time. From that day on they will never call me disabled again – which is really beautiful.

Teaching the World…

That fact that The Include Choir performs in public places is really something big.

By doing that we’re actively teaching the world that we are all the same, we are just made from slightly different clay – we are not really that different to each other – we all have faces, we all live on the same planet etc.

People at the college I go to know that just because you’re disabled it, doesn’t mean you can’t do X, Y and Z or you can’t live your life. But my college is in the middle of nowhere, so no one really knows about us and what we can do.

Include takes that one step further because it puts people like me in front of able-bodied people and goes, “Look this is what Joss can do,” and they go “Wow, he can do that, he is in a wheelchair.” And they put the two together and it changes their lives because they realise that, even though I’m ‘disabled’ I can do a whole load of things that they can do.

On My Terms

Someone at my college recently asked me “What do you think about the term disabled?” I thought for a very long time and eventually I said, “It’s not me that gives me the term disabled, it’s society”. This resulted in an hour-long conversation about the term disability not being helpful. I would wipe that term out.

There are not many words that genuinely offend me, any swear word genuinely won’t offend me and won’t hurt me, but the term disabled does. It cuts me like a knife every time I hear it and it f***ing devastates me because it’s like, “stop putting me down, and raise me up”!

So, I have stopped calling myself disabled and there are people where I live that might say differently-abled and I prefer that – it doesn’t chop off my legs. It says that your legs move in a slightly different way and let’s be open and accepting of that.

Bigger Than Acceptance

Include has really helped me because I have enormous amounts of frustration and incredible bouts of anger that seem to come out of nowhere because I have to have carers all of the time. At college I have about three carers.

At Include I have only really got one, Steven and that’s it. When Steven sits with the choir and joins in it feels like family and it feels like acceptance.

It’s almost bigger than acceptance – Include Choir feels rather more than a single person accepting my disability, it’s like getting a whole room of people to accept my disability all at once, all over the world and yet it’s in an hour-long choir session with an interval!

Sing it from the rooftops

People like me don’t have many chances to walk – but singing is like walking. I am very grateful.

Include songs are f***ing brilliant, genuine from the heart with powerful messages. “In My World” is so beautiful it really is, and every time I hear it, it elicits more of a response from me, I don’t know why and I don’t think I will ever know why! It’s a statement for mankind.

I also like “Kind Communication” – because it’s explaining what I have been talking about – I think people need to hear these songs in places other than YouTube. I think they should be on Spotify.

Eventually, I hope that there will be an Include Choir in every country because its attitude is so welcoming. If there were other Include Choirs it would be a better place, more peaceful with less segregation.

I don’t like segregation or war; I am a peaceful man. We need an Include Choir everywhere we can get one because it brings peace to the world.”

The good news Joss, is that this summer we will be starting up another Include Choir…watch this space.

Penny Sims
Communications, Fundraising and Partnerships Lead

Friends United

Philip and Simon have done quite a few things together over the years.

“We met at a college where we were supported to learn independence, shopping, cooking and budgeting.” They still live together today…

They are based a long way from Include’s HQ in Surrey…but have become a big part of the Include family. In fact, they’ve inspired a plan to combine Zoom sessions with Live sessions.

Included since Lockdown

Philip says; “Without Include the last year would have been boring – we love the whole group since we joined in lockdown….

We join in on my ipad through Zoom and Facebook two or three times a week. I even joined two of the Friday sessions from my Dad’s car when I was on my way home for the weekend! When we see Alix, it always makes me smile.”

Simon agrees; “We love singing and seeing everyone…my favourite is the Bumble Bee song – it makes me happy, and seeing Alix’s cat! We’d be sad without Include.”

In My World

Philip’s favourite song is In My World, which was written by choir member Louise.

“I sang In My World at my Nan’s big family 90^th Birthday party – everyone came and when I sang my Nan cried happy tears,” says Philip.

Silver Linings

Alix Lewer, Include CEO adds; “Philip and Simon (among others) joining The Include Choir Online has been one of the great silver linings of the pandemic.

I can’t now imagine Facebook Live sessions without their supportive and positive input in the chat (and of course – the requests for the Chicken Curry Warm Up, In My World & Dancing Queen).

The Zoom sessions would not be the same without their enthusiasm, excellent signing and huge smiles (they really do put the smile in our Sing Sign and Smile Sessions).

And they have even recently joined our Include Champions Group – helping us learn about people’s rights under the Mental Capacity Act and review and develop training materials. They are always both excellent listeners as well as contributing greatly to the discussions, with much insight and sensitivity.

Remote members like Philip and Simon bring so much to Include and are one of the reasons that we are determined to keep offering both local and online services, so we can continue to include and connect people far and wide.”

Penny Sims
Communications, Fundraising and Partnerships Lead

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